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girl talk

Chick Chat Podcast on iTunes NOW!

Hey Chicks!  We have heard from women we know and women that we don’t that having a sister and a best friend you can talk to often is such a blessing.  We know first hand, that we can’t do this “Life” thing alone, many of us have sisters and speak daily.  To listen in on our phone calls, aka Chick Chat, look up Chicks And Salsa on iTunes for our podcasts where we discuss a variety of things from dieting, parenting, and what is trending.

Chick Chat Podcast
Chick Chat Podcast

Have a topic? Let us know!

How do I find a Podcast on my iPhone

Chick Chat Podcast
Chick Chat Podcast

If you have not yet discovered podcasts, they are a game changer and a real way to learn on the go.  I listen to them in the gym and in the car.  I have learned so much about blogging, and also listened to podcasts for kids (please check out Brains On!, a science channel for kids).

For iPhone users its easy, swipe right on your home screen and search for Podcasts.  Then type in Chicks And Salsa and our channel should pop right up.

Chick Chat Podcast
Chick Chat Podcast

Please check it out, let us know what you think!

Cheers,

Your Chicks And Salsa Team XOXO

 

Put The Phone Down!

 

Not so long ago, women would go to their neighbor’s houses to socialize.  They might chat for hours, sitting around the kitchen table. There was an art to conversation, a give and take.  People actually listened and learned from one another.

Today, things are much different.  In our fast paced world that already doesn’t allow for “hours around the kitchen table”, too often we squander what little time we have left for our friends by texting other people when we’re supposed to be talking to the people we’re with!

We’ll text others who aren’t there and post selfies on Facebook/Instagram, etc., but are we able to fully enjoy ourselves in the moment if we’re doing that?  Sure, humans are social animals and everyone wants to enjoy life to the fullest.  But what does this behavior signify?  Are we just trying to have fun with the most people all the time, even if we’re spreading ourselves too thin?  Or are the reasons more difficult to face?  Like maybe we’ve become uncomfortable with real people and our phones have become a crutch?  Maybe we don’t have much to say, and we’re trying to hide our insecurity by showily engaging in private conversations with other people through our phone.  Maybe we are trying to show off how popular we are.  I ask you, do we really need to be distracted by every funny conversation that is texted to us, when we’re sitting with someone who took the time to actually show up to spend time with us?

This savvy chick says obsessively texting while with friends harms those friendships; and when done flagrantly, ostentatiously, or rudely, it displays shockingly bad manners as well.

This is not acceptable behavior!  You’re better than that.  Don’t you realize that always being available to text actually means that you’re not really doing anything else that’s interesting?  Or, even worse, it might mean that you’re so easily distracted by novelties that you’re unable to hold a conversation as a mature adult.  Admit it.  The message that you’re actually sending to the world when you text while socializing with other people is that you’re immature, and unable to handle your social life like an adult should.

It’s clear that this technology is still new.  With the advent of texting and social media, established communication etiquette has broken down.  Yet, no one really seems to be speaking out against all this blatant rudeness that contravenes all the well-established social rules.  It’s time we recognize that the novelty of smart phones has worn off.  We need to reflect on how to comport ourselves when with friends in this age of ubiquitous smart phones, and come down on the side that honors the reality of human contact over the virtual reality of a phone.  And we need to stop using the phone as an instrument of power over others.  Forcing people to wait while you take pictures and text is impolite and self-important.

Of course, emergency texts are ok.  The convenience of real time is nice. Recording a funny moment is too, but you don’t have to text it out right away to get the response you crave.  Wait to do it later when you’re alone.  Constant texting with friends and taking photos for social media should not be encouraged during social visits.  Such behavior does not lead to meaningful interactions with the people you’re with, and may even lead people to resent your behavior.

In reality though, the problem is more complicated.  It’s not just one person doing this when friends are together. The fact is everyone is doing it, and it seems to have led to an arms race to see who can do it the most.  It seems to be a weird form of a popularity contest.  No one wants to be the “uncool” one with no one to text with while they’re talking to someone else; reminiscent of the college days when having a drink or cigarette in hand signified relevance.

It’s become ridiculous.  Given this dynamic, I’m not really sure how we’re going to fix this as a society.  That’s the problem with arms races.  It takes one person to take the first step.  Yet, for many of us, it would feel awkward to ask someone to put their phone away when sitting down to talk. However, with someone you know, for whom the problem has persisted, perhaps you can take the first step by announcing “this is going to be a no-phone lunch”.  Manners are the unspoken rules of behavior for civilized people.

However, you shouldn’t have to ask people to put down their phones, or even signal for them that they should do so.  People should be expected to do that without asking.  But try telling that to the worst offenders amongst your friends.  Tell them their manners are atrocious.  See how that goes over as you study their shocked faces!

We should be building meaningful relationships.  By texting during a conversation, you’re missing out!  Put down that phone!  Not only are you hurting your friendships, you’re hurting yourself!  Texting and too much social media creates a lonely place and a false reality!  Start living again!  Or at a minimum, let’s set an example for the next generation!

So let’s bring real communication back!  Our happiness (and friends) will thank us.

Josie Croll, Savvy Chick

 

 

“Gee, it must be nice…”

A random Thursday night and I’m surrounded by a handful of talented, educated, intelligent women at the nearest Mexican restaurant, and I pause.  What did each of us go through to get here tonight?

Each of us rushed out of the house at 8:30 — after putting the kids down to bed, of course.  Each of us rushed out in a frenzy, feeling overwhelmed by the constant to-do list running through our minds.  Each of us made sure that the kids’ lunch, backpack, and outfit for the next day were prepped and ready before heading out.  Each of us parked our cars and immediately touched up our makeup — because we just didn’t have a moment to stop and take care of it before leaving the house as were already running late.  Each of us dashed into the restaurant and collapsed into the others’ arms with a sigh of relief thinking “I’m finally here!”

Motherhood is our bond — but the need for surrounding ourselves with support is the bigger quest.  You see, more often than not, we assume the person sitting across from us has it so much better OR doesn’t know what our day has been like OR has no idea what we have gone through to get here.  We just assume that no one knows what our frustrations feel like.  You know what they say about people that assume, right?

We each have a story and may not always go around showcasing it for the world to see.  We all have the same level of stresses and drama — but they come in different forms.  Oftentimes I’m told that I carry my anxiety, frenzy, drama very well; truth is, I don’t feel like airing my dirty laundry when I’m trying to have a great time.  I choose not to rain on my own magical parade of enjoying a night out.  I choose not to think about the craziness and drama when I’m out.  

Our stories stem from who we are and what we do; we tend to label ourselves.  The stay-at-home-mom, the part-time working mom, the full-time working mom.  Why can’t we just be a “mom”?  Society has us labeled and these labels come with some pretty nasty stereotypes.  I know first hand, that as much as I would like to stay away from these stereotypes, they’ve crept up on me from time to time.  The nasty stereotypes we’ve all heard like “it must be fun sitting around eating bon-bons all day” OR “the nanny mothers my kids better than my wife” OR “the mom, otherwise known as the maid.”  

So many times I hear “gee, it must be nice…” — and I cringe waiting for what is to come after.  Maybe what is to come will most likely sound like a back-handed compliment.  Why do we naturally assume the woman sitting across from us has it so much better?  It’s a societal view…what you see is what you get, right?  Truth is, if I showed up looking like how I really feel, I would be a “hot mess.”  I would be disheveled, sobbing with mascara running down my face, and most likely in my yoga pants from the day before.  

So here I am, surrounded by these amazing group of ladies, taking in the funny stories of what little “Johnny” did at school, the stupid husband anecdotes, recipe exchanges, and book reviews.  Did it matter that I folded laundry while watching Gilmore Girls reruns at 1:00 in the afternoon while the woman across from me was in a tense board meeting?  

Who cares how she got here?  Who cares if my day was worse than hers?  Does it matter if I worked harder than anyone?  NO.  Let’s just be and diminish the societal views and focus on the fact that we are here in this moment.  Who knows what each of us will have to deal with once we leave this restaurant?  All we can do is enjoy this moment and take it in, one sip at a time.

 

Cheers to that!

Your Brainy Chick,

Komi